I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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