i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
