Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
