i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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