I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize