no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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