I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
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