She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize