You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
