dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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