He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
