Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
