I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
