it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize