I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
