I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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