Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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