Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
