I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
