Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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