Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
