so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
