matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
