You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize