sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
