So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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