i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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