I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
