Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
