It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
