When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
