dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
