Will you blow on my dice?
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
