I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
