She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
