what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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