I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
