I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize
