I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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