I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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