i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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