Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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