The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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