you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
