Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
