dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
