i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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