quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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