i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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