I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
