Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
