Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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