Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize