You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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