I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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