Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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