Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
