Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
she peed on how many people?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I need water and some morals
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
