I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
